Bruises

I'm looking at myself in the mirror. And I'm thinking, good lord. Where do they come from? I've got one painted on my collarbone, a quick splotch of fading yellow. Along my shoulders and back, barely even risen yet from a slide down the stairs. Just above my left elbow, a deep blue, nearly black, giving me a twinge every time I bend my arm. Small drips of blue and green along my legs. A large one just above my ankle, the color of a thick, murky twilight. My left foot is covered with them, red and blue and yellow, all in different stages of healing. Where do they come from?

Sometimes I think there is more than one reason I don't have a boyfriend. Is it because I'm afraid of being dumped? Hesitant to share myself with someone? Or is it simply because I don't want him to see the bruises? Maybe he'd see them as a work of art, a painted canvas, a reminder of who I am and where I've been.

But I doubt that.

My Motto

If life bucks you off, you climb back on that bitch and you have a goddamn whip in your hand when you do it.

It's good to have people in life who really understand you!

Ashtree: you know what I just realized?
Pants: ?
Ashtree: the good thing about boobs is...they are warm!
but the BAD thing about boobs is...
Pants: true
Ashtree: they don't really keep you warm.
Pants: that is true too
Ashtree: if you fold your arms right, then you might keep your forearms warm, but then you look like a deformed T-rex
Pants: LOL
i just tried it
and you're right
i do
Ashtree: I KNEW YOU WOULD!
Pants: jackass
Ashtree: I just thought you were the only one who'd really understand that

Stay off. The crack.

I rather love the Nations game on Facebook. You invent a country and it pukes out up to two daily "issues" which you as supreme leader must solve. But methinks they're scraping the bottom of the barrel these days...

When sitting alone in your office today, a small chipmunk came in through a window and spoke to you saying, "If you plant it, it will grow", and then scurried back out the window. Do you:

	Remember that you forgot to plant your window box this year and mark it on the list of things to do, but disregard the silly daydream?
	Look into planting a few new trees in Jadwiga just in case the message was something real?
	Take it as a sign to keep cleaning up the environment and institute a nationwide initiative to plant more trees, shrubs and flowers?
	Go home and instruct your gardener to plant some marijuana plants in your garden this year?

...what?

For the record, I chose the fourth option as a lark and the result was this:
"Jadwiga has seen a rise in the use of marijuana when a very powerful strain has hit the streets out of nowhere!"