I had to explain to my dad about Facebook relationships: he thought the only choices were single and married.
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I was at Wal-Mart with my BFF one day. We were moseying along towards the, uh, "family planning" aisle when we saw a young couple shopping. The man was a few feet away looking at Doritos or some shit. (Are the Doritos really next to the condoms in Wal-Mart? I don't remember, but probably.) The woman was in our intended aisle. Suddenly, with all the glee of a child on Christmas, she swiped up a box from the shelf and literally ran to her man. She screamed, for all of Wal-Mart to hear, "THEY GOTS MASSAAAAAAAGE OILS!"
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